Defending Honor, or Socially Accepted Murder?

When I was younger I read a book. This wasn't really a surprise to anyone, because I have always been a rather voracious reader. It was the cover that drew me in I think, a white mask hiding someone except for their eyes and lips. As I read the story, I was horrified by the horrible things that had happened to her. The book was called Souad: Burned Alive, and it was about an attempted honor killing. At the time I did not know what that term really meant, but the more that I learned about this custom, the more that I felt the need to share my knowledge with others. The custom of honor killings, which I would not define as 'popular', but rather 'socially acceptable' is one that is common in Islamic cultures. The idea is that someone in your family (mostly women, though sometimes men) have committed an act that brings dishonor to your family, and honor must be restored. Most of these perceived acts have to do with love; either loving someone that you shouldn't or not loving someone that you should. These are very secluded cultures, where marriage is very sacred. Indeed, it is believed to be half of religion. And any act – or perception of an act – that would bring dishonor on your family is enough to trigger an honor killing. As I did more research I found more and more reports of women who had gone through this horrific act, and each one seemed to me to be sadder than the last. There are women who are killed for talking to someone outside of their religion, basically having a crush on someone. A National Geographic article talks of a woman who was killed because her husband dreamed that she had cheated on him. Dreamed! Not even an actual action. Another woman had her throat slit because someone dedicated a love song to her over the radio. There are thousands of women who have been murdered for wanting to get out of an abusive relationship, for having premarital sex, or for becoming 'to Westernized'. Women have been killed for being raped and found pregnant, even though it is not their fault. Though these crimes mostly happen to women, there are reported cases of men being killed as well. What makes these crimes even sadder to me is the fact that they are often committed by close family members, a decision that is supported by family. I read about men who poured gasoline or acid on their daughters, sisters, wives, and lit them on fire. A father who stood on his daughter's throat, while her brothers held her down. A woman who had someone shoot her daughter for wanting to divorce an abusive relationship. Some of these women have some idea of what is going to happen, and try to hide themselves from their male relatives. In some places, women who feel as though they are in danger can check themselves into prison, but can not check themselves out – that has to be done by a male relative. Who are they trying to protect themselves from again? These crimes are happening all over the world – in Pakistan, Turkey, Canada, Britain, and even right here in the United States. And for many people, even if they are prosecuted it is very lightly, and they do not serve anywhere near as long as they would for a normal homicide. Though these are all horrifying stories, sometimes there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There are women who don't die, women who are strong enough to come through and make a life for themselves afterwards. There are even women who have managed to escape and tell their stories, prosecute their attackers, and live their lives. It may not seem like much, but in the grand scheme of things, it's a miracle.